The phone was ringing and ringing and ringing.

I’m not sure how long it rang  before I answered it.

“Hello?”

“Are you watching it?”

“What is this? I don’t understand. I don’t understand what they are doing? I don’t understand what this is?”

“Are you watching it? Is it on?”

I was sitting in my living room with my 9 month old daughter on my lap. I don’t remember any more of our conversation after that but I remember those first few exchanges between myself and my husband like I remember our wedding vows.  I remember the confusion. I remember staring blankly at my television. I remember I literally could not comprehend what I was watching.

In my exchange with Mark I remember vividly saying that I didn’t understand what they were doing but at that point I didn’t even know who they were.  Regardless of the “realness” of the situation I really still thought this was something……else. Something so far removed from what it actally was.

And I sat there. Just watching it all unfold. I witnessed the world that I lived in change. Forever.

The 2nd plane hadn’t hit yet so no one really did understand what they were doing or what they were going to do. No one knew that by the end of the day 2,993 people would lose their lives, over 6000 people would be injured in 3 different U.S. locations.

8 years later the pain of that day is still almost unbearable. The pain I feel as an American citizen. Nothing more. I didn’t know a single person who died on this day. I didn’t know a single child left without a parent.  I didn’t know a single fire fighter, port authority officer or police officer. It doesn’t matter.  It changed my life forever.

In May I made my first trip to NYC with Larissa, our exchnage student from Switzerland. We only had a few days to see the city so we had to make sure we prioritzed where we were going to spend our time.

#1 on my list was Ground Zero.

Larissa was obviously familiar with the events that had occurred.  I explained to her that as an American I felt being at  Ground Zero was ….just necessary.  As a photographer I wanted to document it.  I was afraid though. I remember worrying I would absolutely be too emotional to even shoot.

I was.

I remember when we got out of the taxi, like 3 or 4 blocks away seeing the buildings that were still under construction. The buildings that had been damaged and destroyed.

The whole expereince was almost surreal. We stood there amoungst tourist from all over the world.  All speaking different languages and talking to those we were with telling them our stories. The stories of where we were when we first heard the news and how we cried for days, weeks & years afterwards.

I will never forget that day or what it felt like to see it almost 8 years later. Today I remember those who suffered loss that day and those that will continue to suffer at the hands of those who forever changed America.

Here are a few images from my visit

FDNY Memorial Wall

A view of construction

FDNY Ladder Co. 10

The Sphere residing in it’s new home at Battery Park