i’m a pretty emotional person by nature. it’s what i do. i cry. i don’t do it nearly as much as i use to because for whatever reason when you get older you become more inhibited about how you feel and the emotions you show. so i try to stifle it alot. i don’t necessarily cry alot when i’m actually sad. i usually cry more out of compassoin. when i witness great triumpth or devastation around me. as i sit and reflect upon the last 24 hours…emotions have ran high.

i came home last night from a meeting in austin and as i sat at the dinner table i had this moment. people talk about “moments” alot. like their day is just littered with them. but in reality, my life is busy hectic and i’m sorry to say i don’t have alot of “moments”.  that’s my fault alone because i don’t take the time many times to sit back and actually witness the moments that are m life. for whatever reason last night was different.

i was sitting at the table. watching mark cook dinner since he made it home before me. he’s had a horrible week or so at work and the stress has been monumental. yet, here he was pulling together some grilled cheese sandwhiches for the kids and trying to juggle it all while i was out trying to live a dream.  it’s hard sometimes. to feel ok that your spouse has to take over sometimes when you are called to be somewhere for work. and you feel bad because ….it’s work you enjoy. that fulfills you and that you feel called to do. that’s just crazy. but it’s true. i never use to feel that guilty if i had to work at a job i hated. that was just life. but it’s hard when you CHOOSE to do the work you do and it takes time away from the family.

totally different point all together.

so dinner. grilled cheese. good stuff.

hudson is beaming because his class is in charge of the morning announcements. he has a “part”. he leads his entire school in the Texas Pledge. he’s stoked! he’s even practicing his smile.

brooklyn is on cloud 9 because she got to trade backpacks for the day with a girl in her class. and it’s a highschool musical backpack. i’m feeling the other girl got the short end of the stick when she got brooklyn’s dirty worn out plain jane pink target backback. such is life.

parker is happy as a clam gnawing on some apple jacks and bits of grilled cheese.

after dinner i played connect 4 with the kids and then it was bath time. this was the beginning of the moment.

i sat there in the bathroom floor watching parker. he had a cup. just a cup. and it was as if you had granted him every desire of his heart. he was giddy as he tried to fill the cup with water and then pour it out. he held it up to his face, and would yell into it and then smile at the echo of his own voice.

i sat there and thought, wow. this is a moment. the stars are aligned and life is good. right now. this is pure happiness. awesome.

so why the title “tears in the morning”

i was getting my daily dose of fox & friends this a.m. and i saw this story. i sat there and before i knew it i was crying. not the ugly cry. just these silent little tears. i was literally sick.  and i thought, while my 5 year old kindergarden son was standing in front of his school leading the Texas Pledge another little boy across the country was standing in front of his class while his classmates voted him out….at the teacher’s direction! people, this is heartbreaking. i am so disheartened over this. i can not even wrap my mind around such an atrocity taking place in a school system. not only is this little boy stood in front of his class and ridiculed and humiliated….the other children, his classmates have now been taught that it’s ok to treat another human being this way. what are we teaching our children? and then we want to stand back and be surprised that our kids are taking guns to school and hurting each other the way they do? it’s awful. it’s just so incredibly sad.

so today, my life is still beautiful. i still have my moment. but events like this remind me that it’s so easy to get caught up in our own little suburban bliss that we quickly forget what happens in every crevice of our community. 

 i pray that justice comes to those who are responsible for this and the other tragedies that plague our schools and our children.